My Epic Journey with the Amazon Basics Freestanding Gas Grill: A Tale of Assembly, Braving the Texas Chill, and the Great BBQ Standoff
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Let me tell you about the time I decided to wage war against a cold front in Texas with nothing but an Amazon Basics Freestanding Gas Grill as my weapon of choice. Picture this: a mighty box arrives in my driveway, dropped from the heavens by what I can only assume was an Amazon drone on steroids. The sight alone was enough to make me question my life choices.
Now, the saga of assembly was something out of a Greek epic. If you were to believe the CCTV footage (see pic below) from my garage (and who wouldn’t?), you’d think this was a leisurely project spread over three days. In reality, it was an intense battle against the elements: one hour on Day 1, thirty minutes on the frostbitten morning of Day 2, and a final thirty-minute push on Day 3. Total time? A mere two hours. The real adversary? The cold that seeped into my very bones.
On the night of the last stand, with the garage hovering at a brisk 42°F, I summoned my doubtful family to bear witness to the marvel of modern engineering: a 4-burner behemoth that roared to life with a single push of a button. Yet, as I stood there, basking in the glow of my accomplishment, the voice of reason (my wife) suggested a retreat to the warmth of our kitchen oven or the trusty air fryer for our chicken dinner. The seed of doubt was planted.
“But NO! Like the wizard in that movie (that I cant name here for copyright reasons), I declared, ‘You shall not pass!!!” as she attempted to take the chicken into the kitchen to cook. The battlefield was here, with me, by the grill. And with a defiant spark, I ignited the flames, watching the temperature soar to 400°F in mere minutes.”
There I was, a lone grill master in the wilds of my garage, beer in hand, slathering my secret weapon—homemade BBQ sauce (a delectable concoction of Kraft honey BBQ Sauce, lemon juice, a whisper of mustard, a hint of hot sauce, and a sprinkle of black pepper)—onto the chicken with the finesse of a Michelin-star chef. Some very thinly sliced red onions placed on the chicken dissolved al most instantly into the skin.
As the heavenly aroma wafted through the neighbourhood, lights flickered on, and curious faces peeked out from behind curtains. Men were left feeling peckish, women wished their husbands had the fortitude to barbecue in 40°F weather. The stage was set for a culinary showdown that would go down in history. A tear came to my eye, I realised after it was the onions.
When I finally emerged from the garage, proudly hoisting a towering inferno of chicken above my head, the stunned silence from silence from my family—mom, mother-in-law, father-in-law, wife, and kids—spoke volumes. The chicken was not just good; it was a masterpiece. Was it the Amazon grill’s doing? My secret sauce? Or perhaps it was my indomitable spirit and grilling prowess.
Whatever the case, that grill and I, we bonded over flames and frost. Despite any naysayer or negative review that dared cross our path, this grill had earned its place in our home, our hearts, and our family lore. And so, the legend of the Great Texas BBQ Standoff lives on.
Hey there again! Just a reminder that, we’re a participant in the Amazon Associates Program. When you buy through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission at no extra cost to you. As we said earlier, this helps us to keep the website up and to continue to bring our simple, yet accurate reviews. Thanks for your support!
